According to a website called bearsrus (the coolest name ever) there are eight kinds of bears in the world. This site lists the North American Black Bear, the Brown Bear, the Polar Bear, the Asiatic Black Bear, the Andean Bear, the Panda Bear, the Sloth Bear, and the Sun Bear.

I am very familiar with what I consider a sub-species of the North American Black Bear – the Urban Bear. I have urban black bears in my neighborhood and surrounding community.

A couple of times I have had to improvise my plans due to a bear doing what bears do, which is pretty much what humans do. I have learned a thing or two from my bears recently, and I am happy to share my very unscientific findings with you.

  • If you are confronted with a perceived threat, stomp your feet, huff, and slightly lurch forward. My bears do this to me, and it always works and I slowly walk backwards away from the bear (because you should never make quick movements around a bear, or turn your back to a bear). Human translation: Sometimes you have to bluff.
  • If a human yells at you to get off their property, or blows a bear horn at you, pretend you cannot hear them, but slowly and nonchalantly walk away anyway. Human translation: Sometimes you have to take the path of least resistance.
  • If you cannot see what’s going on, climb the highest tree and look around. Human translation: Sometimes you can only see what is really happening from higher ground.
  • Be sure to live around an available food source. If a human neighbor puts out seed, they may think it’s bird seed, but it’s actually bear seed. Human translation: It’s all about your perspective, and it’s all about the food.
  • If you come across a strange inanimate object in your environment, look at it, touch it, listen, and sometimes accidentally destroy it. (Human translation: Be aware, be curious, and try not to wreck anything.)

Thank you beary much for reading my very first blog post!